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Gazette 1997-03-20
Articles | Archives | Gazette | 1997 Gazettes | Gazette 1997-03-20
======================================================================
  The Avatar Gazette                  Vol IV, No. 1 March 20th 1997 
======================================================================
   (A Sunlight Through The Shadows Production)
 -------------------------------------------------------------------
  The Avatar Gazette is published once or twice a month by AsaMaro in
  conjunction with (and full permission of) The Avatar Staff

  The Gazette is written in 100% pure ASCII to assure maximum 
  compatibility for all readers using whatever system they use

  Subscribe by writing to gazette-request@walrus.com and including the
  following in the body of your note:  subscribe gazette AS <your email
  address> <real name - mud name>

  You can now view the newest issue of the Gazette online on Avatar
  by typing 'help newgaz' anywhere in the game!

  Telnet to Avatar at: avatar.walrus.com 3000
 ===================================================================
  The Gazette Staff: AsaMaro, Marat and Contenda.
 ===================================================================
  The entire contents are copyrighted (c) 1997, Joe DeRouen and Kevin
  Jagh, All rights reserved.  Individual articles not written by Joe
  DeRouen or Kevin Jagh are also copyrighted (c) 1997 by the individual
  in question.  Any unauthorized reproduction (or changing of said
  contents) of the Gazette without fully expressed written permission
  will result in prosecution to the fullest extent of the law. 
 -------------------------------------------------------------------    

                Table of Contents
                -----------------


           Page     1      Introduction
           Page     1      Table of Contents
           Page     2      AsaMaro's Editorial 
           Page     4      Back Issue Information               
           Page     4      Avatar Web Page Information
           Page     4      Hero Bio: Gadzooks
           Page     5      The Great Awakening by Contenda
           Page     7      Interview with Archmage by Contenda
           Page    10      Avatar's Internal Communication by Amadeus
           Page    13      Addicted to Mud by Bruce S. Woodcock
           Page    14      Top Ten Mortal Peeves by Valheru
           Page    14      Top Ten Dragon and Centaur Peeves by Valheru  
           Page    15      You Might Be Addicted to Avatar.. by Tristin
           Page    16      Excerpt From the Avatar Home Remedy Handbook
           Page    17      Avatar Word Search by Contenda
           Page    17      Avatar Birthdays for Aug/Sept by Contenda
           Page    17      Intellitech Walrus advertisement

------------------------------------------------------------------------    

                                   *
                * Gazette, Gazette, Where Have You Been? *
                                   *

Oh boy.  Where do I begin?  It's been over 6 months since the last issue
of the Gazette.  You know, believe it or not, I never intended for that
to happen.  But I digress.

The annihilation and total destruction of the Gazette began innocently
enough, in Sept. of 1996.  Marat and I, just back from a trip to Canada
to see my favorite musician Chris de Burgh, finally decided to move in
together.  Not really having room for both computers, we decided to sell
off the least-powerful of the two (hers, of course - hey, I'm a guy!)
and share just one.  

I suppose, looking back, that was a mistake.  About a month later,
sometime in the middle of October, my hard drive went poof.  Not one to
make backups ("Hey!  Backups are for sissies!  I'll never lose *my*
data!") I lost an incredible amount of material, including an almost-
finished Gazette and a lot of half-finished paid writing assignments. 

Undaunted, and after several days of swearing at, cajoling, slapping,
kicking and threatening my computer, I took it into a local shop in
Dallas called Computer Junction.  About a week later, I was informed
that, try as they might, they couldn't recover the data.  Sadly, I took
the system home and began to rebuild my Windows 95 environment.  I
reformatted the hard drive, which seemed to work fine after that.

Another mistake.  About two weeks after that, when I'd finally installed
all the programs I'd lost back onto the computer and had began
rebuilding my personal files, lightning struck a second time; the hard
drive crashed again.  This, I believe, was sometime in late October.

Shaking my fist at the vengeful god of hard drives, I gave up and bought
a new Maxtor 5.1 GIG hard drive to replace my totally useless Maxtor 1.2
GIG hard drive. (Hey, I'm brand-faithful if nothing else)  I'm happy to
report that everything has worked perfectly fine ever since.  Well, at
least with the hard drive.  I'm using Windows 95, so of course other
things are bound to go wrong from time to time - usually at least once a
week, more sometimes.  But c'est la vie, and all that.

Anyway, it's near the beginning of November now - maybe November 5th. 
I've been gone from Avatar for several months now, and not only have I
fallen behind (way behind) on the Gazette but I've also fallen way
behind on my paid writing as well.  Ouch.  As I'm sure that you,
faithful reader, can emphasize with, paid work has to come first. 

And thus, I began playing catch-up.  I finished a cover story for a
national magazine that was over due (Computer Currents, Nov. 15th,
"Cheap Software") and caught up on my assignments for other magazines I
write for.  That kept me busy through Christmas and into January. 

Of course, all through this, Marat is also being kept away from the
computer and thus away from Avatar.  She's been amazingly understanding
about my need to monopolize the computer, for which I am eternally
grateful.

But back to my story of woe - it's now in the middle of January and I'm
pretty much caught up with my paid writing.  I want to work of the
Gazette.  I need to work on the Gazette.  I have to work on the Gazette.
But, alas, I don't.  To be perfectly honest, I felt embarrassed at
having been away from it for so long.  

Have you ever delayed calling or writing a friend back and then, because
it's been so long, you keep putting it off longer?  If so, you'll know
exactly how I've felt.  As I said in the paragraph above this one, its
embarrassing.  Because I'd been away for so long, it was harder still to
come back.  Its silly, but its true.

Several things happened between now and then to keep me away - things
like going into the business of writing press releases and having to
track down a con artist crack addict who weaseled me out of $40.00.  But
that's another story for another time.  The point is, I've been out of
the Avatar picture for way too long.  Heck, we're on a new machine now. 
Things have changed that much.  And its time AsaMaro and The Avatar
Gazette (not to mention Marat!) came back to Avatar.

Why now?  Well, that rock I've been hiding under is starting to get
mighty uncomfortable.  :)  That's the flip answer, and one you might get
were I less inclined to be honest tonight.  The real answer, though, is
simply that I miss it. And, by the many letters I've gotten over the
last few months, I know that *you* miss it as well.  I also miss playing
in the MUD, I miss my friends, and I even miss Snikt. Imagine that.
<grin>  Seriously, though, I really have missed it.  

I've also really missed doing the magazine.  I've missed Contenda (who I
really, really hope agrees to work with me on the Gazette again - I
can't now and never could do it alone!) as well as the other frequent
contributors to the Gazette. 

The Gazette and I have been a part of Avatar since 1994, and we want to
be a part of it again.  With your help and support, I think I can make
that happen.

I'd finished the Gazette about a week or two ago and then had mailing
problems (I tried to send it out but the list wasn't working) and kind
of put it aside to deal with later. In fact, only this paragraph and
everything below it is new material - everything else was written at the
start of March.  Tonight, March 20th 1997, I read a note on the hero
list from Thandor lamenting the loss of the Gazette.  Good old Thandor,
who I don't really even know, inspired me to shake myself off and get
this thing out.  So here it is.  If you enjoy this issue - and I hope
you do, even though most of the articles are horribly dated - thank
Thandor for it.  I already did.

 --AsaMaro, March 20th, 1997

p.s. Thanks Snikt, DaWiz, Darii and Mendek for not, er, "zapping" me
     while I was away on my sabbatical.  I truly appreciate it, as I
     appreciate the friendship and support of the four of you. 

p.p.s. I think it's pretty obvious, but in case it isn't - I need
       submissions for the Gazette!  If you'd like to write for this
       fine publication, drop me a piece of email at jderouen@crl.com
       and tell me your ideas.  I'd love to hear them!

------------------------------------------------------------------------  

                 Back Issues of The Avatar Gazette

Back issues of the Gazette are now available via anonymous FTP at
ftp.walrus.com /pub/avatar/gazette.  There's a lot of other good stuff
available there as well.  Check it out!

                        Avatar's Web Page

While you're scuttling about the Internet, check out Avatar's Web Page at
http://www.walrus.com/~avatar.  Aegis has recently added a lot to the page,
so even if you've been there you should definitely take another look.

------------------------------------------------------------------------    


Name: Gadzooks  RL Name: James Erb        Age: (Game) 478  (RL) 44 :P  
Race: Human        Class: Ranger          Current level: 7 Lord   


Real Life Interests: Ham radio (callsign KA0MGM), guitar (Les Paul/Fender
Twin Reverb) play mostly 60's and 70's rock, but could probably play a
little of anything in a pinch. Midis, have a bunch you can download off >my
homepage.

My family, wife, Candy, 6 children aged 22 to 15, and an 18 pound Maine
coon cat named Picasso :P  

Work, maintenance electrician in a large manufacturing plant. Computer
controlled machinery, robotics, computer networks, etc.

Advice To Players: Explore, of course if you play rangers or warriors, >you
don't have much choice :) Use the 'look' command to see what >succesful
players near your level are wearing for equipment. Take the >time to type a
description. It reveals much about the player behind the >other keyboard.
Use says and socials when in a room with other players. >This will help get
you known as a player who is friendly and someone >folks will want to group
with. And finally, yes there are players who >will get you just about
anything your heart desires in Avatar, but, the >game is much more enjoyable
if you do it yourself :)

Where Does Your MUD Name Come From: A friend of mine at work exclaims it
whenever things go awry. But I think Batman used it first :)

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                                The Great Awakening
                                    by Contenda

The sun hit my face with a fierce heat. I clamped my eyes shut tight, and
rolled over, pulling the covers up over my head.

"Well, at least she is moving" I heard a gruff voice say.

"That's more than she has done for a month. I told you it would send her
into shock" accused a gentler voice.

Do I know these people? They sound so familiar, but yet, I can't place
them. I lay still, and pretended to be asleep. Where was I? The sheets
felt cool, yet comfortable. I haven't slept on real sheets for a long time.
There seemed to be a large pillow under my head, and wait...was that the
aroma of fresh coffee?

I carefully opened one eye.  Although the blankets were pulled up to my
eyebrows, I saw a slice of a bedside table. On it was a cup of steaming
coffee, a paperback book, and a large foot. Without thinking, I threw back
the covers, and sat up.

"Tenda!!!!"

I turned and saw someone grinning at me. Before I could escape, I was
enveloped in a giant hug.

"Tmeat!"  I cried, and suffered through another bone crushing embrace.

"I'm so glad that you woke up. I was really getting worried about you!"

Contenda frowns.

"What do you mean, worried?" I started to ask, but then remembered the
foot that was laying on the bed table. Fearfully, slowly, I turned my head.

There was indeed a large foot residing on the bed stand. It was encased
in a fringed moccasin, and was firmly attached to a leg. My eyes followed
the leg up, and...

Contenda cringes.

"Harrumph! Finally! I was getting pretty tired of sleeping in this lawn
chair," AsaMaro growled, as he removed his foot from the table where he
had propped it.

"Asa!!!" I started to get out of bed.

"No! No. Stay there for a bit. How do you feel?" Tmeat asked.

"Um. I feel pretty good. Where am I? Why am I in bed?" I replied.

Tmeat chuckled. "I'll let Asa fill you in, while I run out and get some
do-nuts. You must be hungry." He chuckled all the way out of the room.

"What happened?" I asked, pushing the hair from my eyes.

AsaMaro leaned forward and picked up his mug. He looked at me. He stared
at me. He glared at me.

Contenda blushes.

"I guess you wouldn't remember. You gave me quite a shock." He sipped
his coffee.

"No, I don't remember. Please tell me. Did I miss an a deadline?"

"No. That wasn't it. Tmeat seems to think that when the realization hit
you, that you were going to have your own office, well....you kind of
fainted."

"Fainted? Me?" I gasped.

AsaMaro snorted.

"It was more like a coma. You've been out for over a month. Tmeat and
I have been taking care of you."

"Is my equipment OK? Did anyone feed the cats?" 

"Yeah, well...your equipment is over there in the closet. And well, I
kinda dropped by now and then and checked on the cats. They are fine."

"Oh, Asa!" I leaned forward, thinking of giving him a peck on the cheek.

"Hey Hey Hey" Asa held one of his feet up as if to ward me off.

"Jeesh, you haven't changed any. How is Avatar?"

Asa put his foot back on the table and sipped from his mug. "Well, it's
the same, and yet it's not. There have been many changes, and no one to
write about them. I hope you realize that I will have to dock you for your
time off. I may even charge you for the use of this room."

Contenda gasps.

"It has been a hardship" Asa rubs his back. "When can you get back to work?"

"What kind of changes?" I asked, fluffing up the pillow.

"You're the investigative reporter. You find out. Laying there on your
backside, you aren't going to find out anything."

Sighing, I peeked under the covers to make sure I was properly clothed.
I pushed the covers back, and sat upon the edge of the bed. I seemed to be
wearing a high-neck flannel nightgown. My feet had large white socks on them.

Contenda giggles.

"Tmeat borrowed those for you to wear. He said you needed to be kept
warm."

"How kind of him," I wiggled my toes in the soft socks. 

"It was his idea to give you soup. I wouldn't have done it."

"He is a sweetheart," I said.

"He forced me to buy the soft morsel food for your cats. I would have
gotten the hard kind. It's cheaper."

"He is so thoughtful." I grinned.

"And here," he said gruffly, and he handed me a few coins. "He wouldn't
leave me alone until I reimbursed you for the press card. Um...He found
the receipt in your pocket. Err...when he washed your clothes." AsaMaro
blushed.

"What a guy" The grin started to turn into a smile.

AsaMaro glared at me, eyebrows furrowing together, then looked away..

"He also found you a 486 to replace the old 8088 that..um...somehow got
placed in your office."

Contenda giggles.

"And a chair with all the casters still on."

The door opened, and Tmeat came in brandishing a bag of do-nuts. "Look!!
Chocolate!" he cried.

"Hey, Tmeat! Asa has been telling me everything you have done for me.
I just want to thank you."

"Huh? I didn't do anything." His eyebrows raised in puzzlement. "Asa
wouldn't let me. He wanted to do it all..."

He abruptly stopped when he saw the lawn chair fly backwards.

I just giggled and ducked back under the covers.

==============================                         
Author's note: Thanks, Asa!!!!

Asa's note: Thanks, Contenda!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                        An Interview with Archmage
        Questmasters in the Mirror are Closer than they Appear
                              by Contenda

I wrinkled my nose. The air had a lingering odor of some kind of chemical.
I looked around and saw what looked like a laboratory.

"Well, what do you think?" Archmage grinned and rubbed his foot back and
forth on the floor.

"Err...I like it. I have never seen a dragonskin rug before." I replied,
staring toward the fireplace.

His shoulders squared in pride, we sat down, and I got out my notebook.

"How did you get the position, Quest Master?" I decided to ask first.

"Hmmm ... Lots of begging and pleading?" Archmage grins. "Actually, I had
heard that Grainger had lost his internet account or something to that
effect and would be vacating the position.  Since I had always liked running
quests, I sent an e-mail to Snikt stating that I would like to nominate
myself for the position.  In his reply mail, he said that my name had
already been mentioned as a possible replacement, and the rest is history."

"I bet that made you feel pretty good!" I replied as I hastily scribbled
down his answer.

Archmage grins once again. "Yes, it did."

"So the position was there before, not created for you? I don't remember
having a Quest Master before."

"Yes, the position has existed for quite a while.  It was Grainger before
me, and Jamming before Grainger."

"Did you participate or run a lot of quests before assuming this position?"
I asked as I got up and wandered over towards the bed. I had to see this
up close.

"I had been trying to run as many quests as I could.  I had never gotten
to participate in any quests as a mortal for they happened too infrequently
and at the wrong times for me.  I also did my best to try and lobby others
into doing quests, which is probably what got my name mentioned." Archmage
got up and followed me over, his eyebrows raised in a question.

"I thought they were deep blue," I blushed. "I wanted to make sure."

"Yes, they are." He took my hand and led me back over to our seats.

Flustered, I looked for my place in my notebook. "What exactly are the
duties and responsibilities that the job entails?"

"Hmmm ... well, actually, I sit around in my room all day and drink beer
on Snikt's time ..." Archmage chuckles.

Suddenly a paladin appears in the room, and Archmage's face pales.

The Paladin's slice ***NUKES*** Archmage.

The Paladin's slice ***NUKES*** Archmage.

The Paladin's slice ***NUKES*** Archmage.

The Paladin's slice ***NUKES*** Archmage.

Archmage utters the words "Wrath of God!"

Archmage's fingers pour godfire onto his enemies!

Archmage eviscerates the Paladin.

Archmage thinks for a second ...Archmage purges the Paladin from the room
in a puff of smoke.

"Whoops ... guess Snikt's watching again ... Sorry boss ... Heh, my duties
as quest master are as follows: I try to monitor the outcome of all quests
that are run by immortals on Avatar.  To that end, any prizes that are given
out in quests are to be cleared through me."

"Do you create ALL the quests? Or do you just take ideas? Can heroes or
mortals run Quests themselves?"

"All of the quests that I have run to date are of my creation. If someone
has a quest idea I would certainly take it (and I have), and when time
permits, I will run it.  Otherwise, anyone is capable of running a quest.
If you have question or concerns, I would be glad to talk with you about it."

"What about prizes? Exactly what are Quest Tokens? What are they good for?"
I ask innocently.

"Quest tokens were originally designed as a quick way for an immortal to
give something out to people that had to leave right after a quest.  Now,
however, these are the things that mortals covet.  Quest tokens are given
out for difficult quests, those that involve mystery, guessing, combat, and
mud knowledge. Quest tokens can be traded in for items or upgrades to
your armor or weapons ..."

Archmage forces you to do help tokens.

'TOKENS' 'TOKEN EXCHANGE' 'TOKEN REDEMPTION' 'TOKEN'
TOKEN EXCHANGE RATE

I hate when that happens! I try to be cool. Flipping the page in my
notebook, I nonchalantly continue to the next question.

"Any prizes? Mortals who run quests could give away something of their
own, without clearing it through you, couldn't they?" I ask a little
tersely.

"Yes, most mortals can do that, because they cannot change the properties
of an object (like it's name, for instance.)  For the most part, I just
need to know if super-powered items are being given to mortals, cause that
would make Snikt very unhappy."

I shuddered, thinking of Snikt unhappy. "Are there prizes other than tokens
for lesser quests?"

"Yes, prizes can be anything, potions, wands, weapons, armor, anything.
Immortals are allowed to give out pre-defined renamed equipment for quests
as well."

"Do you keep any stats at all?"

"I submitted the winners from the last few quests to the last Gazette issue.
These were the winners of the quests that had happened since I took over the
position.  "

"I saw that," I replied. "Do you know who has won the most Quests so far?"

Archmage's eyebrows furrow as he thinks. "Most quests so far?? I'm not
really sure, but I'd have to say it would probably be Spawn."

"Ok...let me reword this. Do you plan on keeping any stats in the future?"

"Yes, I am currently trying to keep track, and publish quest winners in the
Gazette."

"Do you have any hints or tips for true newbies who want to participate in
quests?"

"Most of the quests are announced in advance, which tries to allow you the
time necessary to plan for participating in it. The most important thing
about quests is having fun.  If you're not having fun, other's probably
aren't either, and then the person running the quest isn't likely to be
having fun, which is not the idea behind quests."

"Do you run any low-level quests? "

"Low level quests?  I have on occasion run them, but there is usually
very little turn out for quests in which levels are below 20,  non-hero,
that is."

"Well, that should do it. I really appreciate the time that you have taken
with this." I curtsied.

He waved goodbye.

As I walked out, I flipped my notebook to the very back page, where I keep
the list of Immortals, and put a large smiley face beside his name. 

------------------------------------------------------------------------

                "On AVATAR's Internal Communication"
                       by Amadeus

    My sucess in life has always come from being an incredible observer.  
You'd be amazed at how different the world looks if you take a moment to 
step back and look at the whole forest.  I suppose I sometimes forget 
that not everyone is able to see the whole forest, but yet only sees the 
trees around them, and I apologize for that.  However, one must 
continually strive to rise above the trees and see AVATAR as it is, not 
as it appears from one's perspective.  Let us take a look into three 
issues that pertain to AVATAR and see if we can come, together, into an 
understanding of the whole forest.
    First, there is the issue of relations and relationships.  One must 
understand that within AVATAR there are many different 'classes' of 
people, and those are further divided into multiple arrays.  For example, 
we have players from different countries, players from different sections 
of countries, players of different races, players with different 
political beliefs and religious belifs; therefore, we create the first 
stumbling block to communication.  Also, within the mud environment we 
further divide ourselves into low mortals, high mortals, HEROS, ANGELS, 
LORDS, IMMORTALS, staff, and execs.  Here we have to strive to make a 
caste system work as fair as possible -- which has never happened in real 
life.
    So, how can we understand and communicate with each other?  The only 
way I can possibly conceive is to remove yourself from the system and 
look at it as a whole.  Now, granted, this is easier the further you are 
on the ladder as you will have all the experiences of the other segments 
behind you; however, this is what we must strive towards.  Let's take an 
example:
        I am a level 400 hero with a serious problem, I am bored.  As a hero,
        I know what it's like to be a low level mortal, a high level mortal,
        and a hero, that is all.  Therefore, my first thought is "I am
        jealous because the immortals look like they're having fun".  I am
        wondering why nothing is being done to help my situation, and why
        everytime I want to make the mud more interesting, I get in trouble.
 
Now, taking the concept that was mentioned previously, our goal is to 
look at the whole forest, rather than the section of the forest called 
heroes.  The level 400 hero needs to ask themselves "How would I fix my 
problem if I were in charge?" -- then mail the execs with the solutions 
you have.  "If I were in charge, how would I deal with me, as the 
troublesome hero?" -- then mail the execs with your answer.  If the 
player continues in this line of thinking, the answer should be 
resolved.  Of course, a companion to this method of logic is 
'professionalism' -- always be professional in your suggestions and 
conversations with anyone of authority.

    Another major concept on AVATAR that tends to lead us astray as far 
as working together and understanding each other is authority.  
       - Who has the authority?  
       - Who is in charge?   
       - Who makes the rules?  
Although it seems that the answer would be simple, it is not because of 
the nature of how AVATAR works and operates.
    AVATAR has a select few people that we call the execs.  They are in 
charge, and their word is final -- however, they do possess checks and 
balances:  the players.   For example, Snikt can make a rule and set it 
in stone; however, if all the players decide to leave because of it -- 
then he has a problem and will have to change his mind, essentually 
taking the authority from him and placing it back with the players.  
Fortunately, throughout the years player at AVATAR have placed their 
trust with the execs and although there are sometimes unpopular 
decisions, 95% of AVATAR's population follows their guidance.
    However, going back to the concept mentioned beforehand, all players 
have to attempt to see the whole forest that the execs see.  By this, we 
mean that although the execs work for the mud, they do not owe the mud 
anything.  Therefore, if a policy is set and a player abuses this policy, 
then they have leeway to respond in whatever fashion they so choose.  
Always strive to see the mud through the eyes of people who spend many 
hours looking at what most people see as gibberish (C code) just to give 
everyone a good place to play -- the 'forest' looks much different when 
you do.

   Lastly, we must touch upon another issue that further hopes to drive 
lines through the communication of AVATAR: emotion.  By emotion, I mean 
that we, as humans, respond to certain stimuli in a particular way.  For 
example, if one player insults another player in malice, then the player 
being insulted will probably respond aggressively.  Now, it is very hard 
to avoid this reaction and it is also very hard to know when this 
reaction is warrented, especially in an environment where all we recieve 
is words printed on a screen.
   Ultimately, the best policy for any player when it comes to conflict 
and/or disagreement is to state the opinion without any emotive input.  
By this, I mean that if someone says something or does something that 
bothers you, the response should be to the point and without emotion.  
However, the catch 22 on this method is that most humans interpret 
non-emotion as aggression and/or indifference.  Let's take an example 
again of the level 400 hero we spoke of earlier:
        
        The hero's first intuition as a human is probably to send a mail
        to the mailing lists with something like this: "I'm bored to tears
        and all of you lazy immortals are just sitting around chatting 
        instead of finding me something to do.  Please get off your lazy
        asses and do something".  However, consider this, which should
        get the same message across without the negative response:  "As
        a hero I just wanted to report that we need to add more things
        with which we can occupy our time.  Perhaps an immortal could
        inform me of how they spend their time online and that would help".

So, through the second statment the hero has stated the same material in 
a way that does not directly offend anyone; however, states the point in 
the same tone in which the hero initially intended to state it.
 
    Communication within AVATAR is more complicated than almost any other 
online mudding situation, and we must constantly strive to overcome any 
obsticles that we face in this situation.  AVATAR is like a small room 
with hundreds of totally different people trying to get along and work 
together for the mutual enjoyment of everyone.  Keep up the good work.

Amadeus - 11/9/96

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

               Addicted to Mud     By Bruce S. Woodcock (1991)

         To the tune of Addicted to Love    By Robert Palmer  (1985)

 The net is up - so you're not home;
 Your mind - is not your own.
 Your client starts - your body wakes;
 One more connect - is what it takes.
 You can't sleep - you can't eat;
 There's no doubt - you're in deep.
 Your fingers ache - but you don't heed;
 Another mud - is all you need.

 Whoa... You like to think that you're immune to the stuff;
 Oh yeah?
 It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough;
 You know you're gonna have to face it:  You're addicted to mud.

 You see the words - but you can't read;
 Your modem's at - a different speed.
 Your fingers type - in double time;
 One more connect - and you'll feel fine!
 A one track mind - you can't be saved;
 Your mudding life - is all you crave.
 And if there's room - on your machine,
 You'll run your own - Mud Supreme!

 Whoa... You like to think that you're immune to the stuff;
 Oh yeah?
 It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough;
 You know you're gonna have to face it:  You're addicted to mud.

 My ain't as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 My ain't as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 My ain't as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 My ain't as well face it you're addicted to mud.

 My ain't as well face it you're addicted to mud.

 (instrumental)

 The net is up - so you're not home;
 Your will - is not your own.
 Your client starts - the load climbs;
 Another mud - and you'll be mine!

 Whoa... You like to think that you're immune to the stuff;
 Oh yeah?
 It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough;
 You know you're gonna have to face it:  You're addicted to mud.

 My ain't as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 My ain't as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 My ain't as well face it you're addicted to mud.
 My ain't as well face it you're addicted to mud.

 (repeat)

 (fade)

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Top 11 Mortal Peeves
--------------------
by Valheru

1) Missing after a trip because the enemy ducked to the ground.
2) Seeing "Its an easy kill" and getting totally wasted.
3) Having a mob cast curse on you as you try to recall.
4) Having aggie mobs repop in pairs just after you kill them.
5) Having an aggie mob repopping right after you kill it.
6) Having an aggie mob vapourise all of your eq, die, and repop
   immediately.
7) Getting told "Walk to your corpse" after your first CR request in 7
   levels/20 deaths.
8) Newbies who type "get all" in donation, find they can't wear/wield most
   of it, and keeping it all (even if its level 40).
9) Dying at less than 30 xp to level for the fourth time.
10) Dying in battle, then going linkdead due to a stupid modem, and coming
    back to find your corpse gone.
11) Doing an ATOMIZE with all the fancy trimmings to a mob after a
    throw/trip, and seeing that it has a few scratches.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

Top 10 Dragon and Centaur Peeves
--------------------------------
by Valheru

1) Watching somebody grouped with you level 4 times in a row, and 
   you gain 300xp.
2) Tanking for a warrior 3 levels higher than you...
3) Tanking for a warrior 3 levels higher that you...and you're a mage..
4) Dying at 30 tnl, for the fourth time that week.
5) The fact that fleeing costs you more xp than you gain in 3 - 5 kills 
   (maybe more)
6) The fact that recalling from combat costs you at least 10 kills.
7) Despite the fact that dragons and centaurs are about the most powerful
   creatures in the game, they still can't solo between levels 12 and 20.
8) Having to take on a "Death will thank you" solo to get 20 xp.
9) Having to take on a "Death will thank you" solo to get 20 xp, and going
   down to just above your wimpy setting.
10) Xtreme: Tanking for someone who is level 40, and you're level
    29...little ridiculous eh?

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

You Might Be Addicted To Avatar If...  
by Tristin

You might be addicted to avatar if...

...Snikt asks YOU for help      
...Someone tells you a joke and you say LOL
...You watch TV with closed captioning on
...You beg your friends to get an account so you can hang out
...You've ever got on a plane to meet someone from Avatar face to face
...Three words: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
...You have a second phone line so you can call pizza hut
...You have a car tag with your char-name on it
...You've met over 100 people
...When somes asks "what did you say?" you reply "scroll back"
...If you say "hehe" instead of laughing
...If you find yourself sneaking to your computer while your spouse is asleep
        (this doesn't define Tanya now does it? :)
...You turn down the lights and close the blinds so people wont know your on
   again
...You know more about you Avatar friends daily routines than your own spouse's
...You find yourself lying to others about your time on, and when they
   complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook
...You have an identity crisis if someones char-name is close to yours
...You would rather tell your friends your bloodshot eyes are from partying too 
        much instead of the truth (all night on Avatar)
...You've got so many chars you have to use score to see who you are
        (that ones for you Rodisian :)
...You won't work at a job unless a modem is involved (sounds like Mendek to
me         :)
...Your DOG leaves you
...You write a lette like this "dear john, Hiyas! how r u doin? well i 
   gotta go bbl!"
...You name your pets after people you talk to
...You smile sideways :)
...You look at an annoying person in real life and wish you could trans them
   to Tiamat
...You bring a bag lunch and a cooler to the computer (SCORE! 2pts for
   Mendek!         :)
...You use phrases from Avatar in everyday life (if you still have one :)
...You take a spead reading course to keep up with the spam (eg..when Spawn or 
   Ynnad is on :)
...Your best comeback to someone is "I'll slap you with my rubber chicken!"
   (yes there is an item named "rubber chicken")
...You have to inject no-doze into your butt to stay awake when there might
   be a HoG
...You end a sentance with 3 or more periods at the end (*innocent self*)
...You get up at 2am to go to the bathroom and get on Avatar instead
...If you spell things aloud instead of saying them
...You don't even notice typos
...You sign on and enter with *hugs* or *thwap* (You know who you are,
   *point Spawn and Munchkin*)
...You stop typing whole words and start using things like "tho, lemme, donno, 
   or ppl"
...You type faster than you think (what was i thinking again oh yea err wait
   i already typed it)
...You want to be buried with your computer when it dies or vice versa
...When Mantra thinks you have no life ;)
...You enjoy the fact that your addicted
...You actually read all the names at the end of a movie
...People say "If it weren't for youe super reflexes in your eyes and fingers
   you would have long been classified as a vegetable"
...Your dreams are in text (most likely affects Snikt DaWiz Crom and Mega :)
...Being called a newbie is a major insult
...You double click your remote
...You can type 70wpm
...You think of starting a 12 step program to help Avatar junkies
...You go into withdrawls at dinner
...You spend 30 minutes saying goodbye
...You have to be pried from your computer with the jaws of life
...You meet people from Avatar in real life and call them by their char-name

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Excerpt from "The Avatar Home Remedy Handbook by Diogenes" 
Permission to reprint granted.


Blindness <blynd-nes> 1. Deprived of sight. Unable to see.

Causes:

Many creatures in Avatar have the ability to cast Blindness, as
an offensive spell. While there is not real danger to life or
limb, it can be very confusing and uncomfortable. The afflicted
is often able to recall back to Nom safely.

Symptoms:

The victim is rendered unable to see the surrounding area,
others, or his own equipment. 

Usually panic, and paranoia accompany blindness. Sufferers often
have urges to yell "Help me! I am blind!" over the chat channel.
While this does not alleviate the ailment, it often results in
help and advice from other palyers.

Remedy:

Mortals may come to the aid of the poor soul who is blinded by
spell-casting. "Cure Blindness" will cure the target of the
infliction.  Cures may also be purchased at Nom for a fee of 400
Gold.

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

                         AVATAR WORDSEARCH

                 P  S  I  O  N  I  C  I  S  T  F  L  E
                 O  K  D  I  H  L  W  L  S  R  L  S  H
                 T  X  U  U  E  D  A  M  R  O  L  L  E
                 I  P  M  R  B  I  R  T  R  G  A  A  T
                 O  A  I  W  C  T  R  T  R  L  N  T  Z
                 N  C  G  O  H  N  I  G  E  O  A  R  Q
                 S  G  S  I  S  H  O  G  C  D  M  O  V
                 W  E  E  A  G  L  R  M  A  Y  N  M  K
                 L  F  O  T  D  C  J  O  L  T  O  G  I
                 O  M  I  R  I  W  G  S  L  E  G  N  A
                 R  A  N  G  E  R  A  T  A  V  A  O  Q
                 D  G  I  R  E  H  P  R  D  S  R  M  M
                 S  E  C  T  K  I  N  S  F  A  D  E  T

            -------------------------------------------------

                Aelmon     Elf         Lords    Psionicist
                Angels     Gnome       Mage     Ranger
                Avatar     Gold        Mana     Recall
                Cleric     HOG         Mortals  Snikt
                Clerics    Heroes      Mud      Socials
                Damroll    Hitroll     Nom      Sprite
                Dragon     Human       Ogre     Thief
                Dwarf      Immortal    Potions  Troglodyte
                                                Warrior

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

                       AVATAR Birthdays
                         by Contenda

                Birthday                Player  
       =======================================================

               (This Space Intentionally Left Blank)

   If you would like to add your birthday to the list, either catch 
   me in Avatar, send me a note, or an email to Contenda@Skyenet.net

   Who knows? Maybe Snikt would let you run the mud for the day. <g>

------------------------------------------------------------------------ 

                 Intellitech Walrus
                 ------------------

As all of you have no doubt noticed, we're up on a great Internet site;
Intellitech Walrus!  Lag has been at a minimum while MUD enjoyment has
been at a maximum, thanks to Snikt and Walrus owner Michael Rosenthal.
Intellitech Walrus is a really great system, not even considering the
MUD; for fifteen bucks a month, you get a shell account with a whopping
10 Meg of storage space.  Who could ask for anything more?  They also
have some great deals on PPP accounts and several other pricing levels.
If you live in the 212 New York area code, you should really check into
getting an account with Intellitech Walrus.  Check out their web page at
http://www.walrus.com or call them at 212/406-5000.  You can also
request information via writing email to info@walrus.com.  Tell 'em
Snikt and AsaMaro at The Avatar MUD sent ya! 

------------------------------------------------------------------------    
 

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Cerdwyn
Aug 16 2022 03:24
booooooo

Qismat
Aug 02 2022 22:13
Daeron is running Push Your Luck now. Mini-HoG just ended!

Halari
Jun 30 2022 04:23
It is!

Vanusk
Jun 28 2022 23:55
Testing. Testing. This thing on?

Qismat
Aug 17 2021 05:50
Halfway through August and so many events yet to go! Log in now to join our newest event.

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Game Updates
Mar 28 2024 14:32
There is a disturbance in the realm as Noorm fails to become a Lord at sublevel 577.
Mar 28 2024 01:45
There is a disturbance in the realm as Noorm fails to become a Lord at sublevel 532.
Mar 28 2024 01:40
The Ultimate Dragon viewing room is now closed!
Mar 28 2024 01:26
The Ultimate Dragon viewing room is now open for business! Come witness the carnage!
Mar 28 2024 01:06
There is a disturbance in the realm as PFiRRG fails to become a Lord at sublevel 313.